Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark...

Make a Wild Wish!

harqn2 — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 23:08:00 GMT

This post is dedicated to two very special people on my real “Journey” who inspire me artistically and physically: Ramona Davis a/k/a/ PoeticJava and Blake Sterkel a/k/a BodybyBlake. Thank you for being a part of my life! I appreciate your time, talents, and energy.

Make a wild wish by Lori Minick, Mixed Media Collage 2008

I made this Re*Birthday Collage to kick off my Artists Healing Journey – I’m taking the eCourse by Lani Gerity (click here to read more about this course available in the Shoppes of Artella). My character’s name is Lori Rose (not pictured). These two figures in the collage are the Time Finders. Lori Rose made a Wild Wish when she blew out the candles on her Re*Birthday Cake and the Big Lori and Little Lori will help Lori Rose to transcend time and space. Literally Big Lori’s function is to take Ben Franklin’s statement and turn it on it’s head so that “Lost time IS found again” and Little Lori’s is to make “time stand still”. The problem is that Lori Rose doesn’t remember a thing after making her wish and blowing out the candles. You see, everything faded to black and she was transported to another place… much like that which happens to artists when they are lost in the act of creating. When Lori Rose checked in with her lower five senses again, she discovered that she was in a strange sort of forest. This is where her “Journey” will begin. In other words, my Artists Healing Journal Page One will start at this point. I know Lori Rose is going to be OK, because she’s got friends to help her on her way. Thanks Mona – your beautiful poem has inspired the setting for my Journal and I also thank you for allowing me to post it here again in my blog.

BeGinNinGS
By PoeticJava, used by permission

Every journey has a beginning.
Every forest begins somewhere-
seeds, then a seedling, a sapling,
oaks, maples, & evergreens touching the sky.
You are on a path. You have held
fast to guiding hands. Then it happens
in the forest- the compass gives
you another way-
one that leads you to brambles. You are lost.
You venture on, hoping for salvation.
You don't know if it will ever come.
You just know you're missing something on this path;
a hand, soothing words, love
to bring you in the right direction.
Listen, grasp, hold tightly, submit.
Soon, perhaps,
the guiding light you've searched for
will be there, back from its own journey,
holding you and reminding you
of where you belong.

Excerpt from my Artists Healing Journal, Week One:
And Lori Rose said aloud to no one in particular, “'Perhaps'. That's a great word... like ‘potential’ and ‘possibly’ and ‘please’, as in ‘please come back tomorrow’. It's a word held high and a little out of my reach, but just within my earshot. Hmmm... still I suppose I’ve been made aware of it and that it happened for a reason. There is always hope and I am a true believer. I choose to keep the faith. I guess that means I’ll continue by taking another step forward. And for that, I thank you.”

Measuring the Wind on Best Friends Day

harqn2 — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 20:38:00 GMT

Laughing*Out*loud

Welcome! As promised, just in time for June 8, National Best Friends Day, allow me to introduce my alter ego, Doc L. “Smack” Grotchman, infamous pain management pioneer and collector of quotable quotes, inane blatherings, rants, raves, rx’s, images and whatever else flips my proverbial pancake. Ready? Heeeeeeeeere’s Doc…

Uh, gee thanks, Lor! Hi! Good grief! It all started a few years back when ..... wait a sec! Does everybody know what an “alter ego” is? According to Webster: alter ego – 1. another aspect of oneself; 2. a very close friend or constant companion. OK. Before somebody tells me there’s something “weird” about talking to myself AND answering back, AND doing it in my blog under the heading of L*O*L with the intention of entertaining my readers with the possibility of winning a contest too, well it just might be considered pathological… WOO-HOO!!! (Pardon me).

So the short story is that while I was wallowing in life’s pain, I figured instead of sitting there feeling sorry for myself, I wondered how I could manage to have fun at the same time. What a concept, right? Luckily, one day a few years ago I was reading that wonderfully pleasant and uplifting thing some of us have delivered daily. (No, not The Artella Daily Muse! I’m trying to be sarcastic here.) I’m talking about that rag we call the newspaper from the mainstream media – that harbinger of gloom and doom. Well, I dared to stick my nose into it yet again to hunt for morsels of hope and shreds of decency, when much to my surprise and delight I discovered my True Life’s Purpose – along with my long lost biological father! I’ve since decided to carry on with his practice and research. You see, my father is none other than the famous Dr. Hanos Grotchman, Pain Management Pioneer. I’m so very grateful to John McPherson for reuniting us. Here is a picture of Dear ol’ Dad before his unfortunate accident:

Evidently, we have the same knack (er, psychological disorder) for doing the same thing OVER AND OVER AND OVER, expecting a different result. I know, you’re probably thinking, “Hey, isn’t that the definition of insanity?” Shhhhh! Cornfields and cows both have ears…

Now, as I was saying, my father finally abandoned his research in the field of bovine acupuncture (after his 17th concussion). Strangely, I don’t think his patients appreciated his barnside manner. He’ll likely spend the rest of his life recovering (his beaker of acupuncture needles lost in the haystack). So it’s all up to me to carry on. And believe you me, I certainly know how to do that! I even published an e-letter for a few years chock full of my wisdom and wit under the title Doc Grotchman's Quotable Quotes. I’m back to my research these days… it's my passion you know! But I certainly don’t mind sticking my two cents in here or there when Lori or her editor Spot need a hand. I even helped her with her zine for the Artella Spring Zine Swap and I think she has posted her zine in her Gallery. (She’s shaking her head “Yes.” I know because I hear it rattling!) Check it out!

I used to sign up patients to receive my e-letters by asking a few questions. Lori says I should share some here. Well, alright if you insist. When they’d protest with, “It only hurts when I laugh, Doc,” I’d simply find it irristible/necessary to probe a little deeper by asking questions like: Are you in Pain? Are YOU a pain? How do you FEEL about pain? Does it HURT? Hmmm…. I see. Tell me, have you noticed that you constantly recycle your sorrow, medicate your grief, micromanage the heck out of everyone and everything in your life? Or are YOU being micromanaged by someone whom you could swear is promoting pain and destruction in your life? Are you avoiding these painful issues, groping for instant relief through frivolous distractions, endless controversies, empty calories? Do you find yourself easily swept away circling the drain (or your own navel) while attempting to redefine your identity, your purpose, your cosmology? Do you spend hours, helplessly contemplating the meaning of all this madness, mayhem and muck? Still searching for that elusive little patch of sunlit grass, begging for the smallest scrap of peace for PITY’s SAKE? If YOU have answered YES to one or more of the above questions, Wow! Are you messed up! Hey, Lori is nudging me, but heck, she told me to ask you. OK! Then to help you see how much fun we could have commiserating together ... Here’s the bad news: if you’ve read this far it may mean you’re already “Out to pasture.” We all could have SO MUCH FUN together...

SMACK! Wake up...Here’s the Good News: CONGRATULATIONS!!! You have arrived. WELCOME! Take a deep breath. Relax. Enjoy. Chew the cud, shoot the bull, hunt for the Purple Cow, climb Bandini Mountain (it is no Urban Legend by the way – I’ve really seen it with my own eyes!! Lori here...) Hey, Doc here, this is MY time! Measure the wind, dream your hugs or vice versa, because you’re here and I’m here for you, or because of you… that is, I really, really care.. uh, really.

And then I’d always end my e-letters with the same qualifier that I’m going to give you all here and now. It’s the one rule I live by and Lori likes it too, so you’ll probably hear her harp on it a lot. Ouch! Thanks a lot, Lori! See you around, and remember: Please don’t pathologize me, weird humor is the ally of sanity.

With Lots of Love,
Doc G. a/k/a harqn2 a/k/a Lori

Doc’s Sidekick, Brooksie the Amazing Flying Cow helps keep things juicy with her “Kowlicks” of Bovine Humor

Brooksie's Cow Tip#1: Never stand in back of the cow when she’s measuring the wind!

Background Info: Brooksie was a real Holstein dairy cow. She belonged to Lori’s father while he grew up in the hills of South San Gabriel, California. Pictured below: Brooksie and Richard Minick, (The Original California Angel’s Baseball Fan.)

My First Fudge Ripple

harqn2 — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 16:08:00 GMT

Look what I found! It made me laugh (almost out loud) with joy! It’s a photo of me with my first ice cream cone—Fudge Ripple! I decided to post this in honor of today, June 7, being National Chocolate Ice Cream Day. I certainly can’t let an opportunity like this slip through my chocolaty fingers now, can I?

Yours truly,
LOLri (thanks for the nickname Constance!) a/k/a harqn2, a/k/a Doc L. “Smack” Grotchman – my alter ego, whom I will try my best to introduce in a short “LOL” bio tomorrow, in time for National Best Friend Day -- because if you can’t be your own best friend, well, howdy! you’re actually kinda screwed up. (Sorry Chocolate, you came in a close Second... but don't feel bad, June 8 is also Name Your Poison Day!) I’ve discovered that your alter ego will never let you down. Weird I know, but that’s the idea! I'll explain later...

Waiting to Inhale...

harqn2 — Mon, 26 May 2008 14:13:00 GMT

In*spi*ra*tion

1 a breathing in, as of air,
into the lungs

2 any stimulus to creative thought or action

3 a divine influence upon human beings

Yes, it’s a wonderful thing isn’t it? To live, laugh, love… but forget to breathe and what happens? That’s right – it’s automatic, (supposed to be) one of our built-in systems of the body. Yet, there is another kind of breathing. There is something extraordinary that happens, and when it does I see the world in a whole new way -- a rainbow sort of way! In this moment, I breathe deeply, inhaling all the glorious colors surrounding me, and I remember who I am. I know I am loved and free to love in return. Suddenly, it’s not just another day. Today is another day to create art! Thank you God! Every other moment of my life I live in the state of expectation in between these moments of true inspiration, waiting to inhale...

A Beautiful Day to Fly!

harqn2 — Sun, 11 May 2008 17:28:00 GMT

It was a beautiful day at Art in the Afternoon. AiA is the annual fundraiser for A Window Between Worlds (the non-profit organization that uses art as a healing tool for victims of domestic violence). I volunteered to help out at the sales table this year where some of my Me Dolls were displayed. The best and most precious sale of the day was by far the last one. It happened while we were getting ready to close things down and Holly came by with her mother and brother. According to her mother, Holly had been admiring this doll earlier and had her heart set on it. Holly's mother was one of the 50 volunteers for AWBW working at the event that day, and she had brought her two children with her. Holly had insisted they all come back to the sales table to see if Fly was still available.

As I watched Holly admiring Fly, her mother explained that Holly had fallen in love with Fly and especially loved the words that came with her. It is my custom to attach a tag in which I include each doll's name and write a few words or a poem. Fly was one of five dolls I had created for this event. Sometimes while I'm creating my art dolls, one in particular will stand out more than the others. When that happens it's hard not to indulge my curiousity and wonder who will end up purchasing that particular kind of doll. Fly was that kind. I am deeply touched whenever anyone connects with one of my dolls, and I'm honored when I get the chance to actually meet the person who purchases one. When that person is a child it means so much more -- not to mention that this child was the daughter of a volunteer (i.e.: multiple magical moment factors). So one can imagine how I felt when the little girl looked up into my eyes and asked me if there was any way I might lower the price. Keep in mind this was the annual fundraiser. Ouch.

I decided to ask Holly a couple questions, while my mind was spinning. First I asked how old she was. “Ten.” she replied. Next I asked how much money she had to spend. “Ten dollars.” she answered. Ouch. The price I set on Fly was $75. Her mother stepped in and said quickly that she would have to save up some more and they would need to come back another time. Ouch again. I just couldn't go that low. Slowly they began to walk away. Slowly I began to pack the doll to take home. A few moments later I looked up and was surprised to see Holly's mother again. In a hushed voice she asked me how much would I accept for the doll. I said, “How much can you offer?” She said, "$40.” I said, "Done!" I noticed Holly wasn't with her mother and that we were hurrying and my burning question was answered for me as I carefully wrapped up the doll. Holly's mother excitedly explained that her daughter had no idea she had come back to get Fly -- on the sly -- and said Holly would be so surprised and overjoyed by this gift!

Holly's mother had no idea those were my exact sentiments too, because Fly was going to a good home, AND I got to be the one to send her on her way! What a special volunteer and mother! What a beautiful day to FLY!

The above photo of "Fly", an art doll created by Lori Minick, and the accompanying words are set against two colorful freebie background papers created by Annamarie -- please visit her blog here in the Artella Cafe for more inspiration!

IT ONLY TAKES A SPARK...

harqn2 — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 18:04:00 GMT

to get a fire going, or in this case to ignite a blaze of creativity! I’m talking about this Spontaneous Combustion phenomenon happening in the Artella Café. Oops, I mean Spontaneous Collaboration! Collaboration between other artists and myself seems to be occuring more frequently than not lately, so how serendipitous that we’re having a Blog Contest on this very situation! It just so happens that last night I stopped by Black Cat’s blog “Scribbles” at http://artellacafe.com/blogs/scribbles/archive/2008/04/23/i-can-dance.aspx. I read her latest blog entry titled “I Can Dance”. She made the coolest little paper puppet! Check it out:

Black Cat says her paper puppet dancing self was inspired by Aunt Bobby’s Polly, the articulated paper doll, which won first prize in Artella’s Studio Kit Contest #4 “The Eyes of a Child”.

This actually qualifies as a Spontaneous Collaboration within a Spontaneous Collaboration, wouldn’t you agree? Anyway, the sight of Black Cat’s doll was kindling enough, but her question “What dance have you done today in your life?” set me ablaze! It didn’t matter that it was close to midnight Pacific Standard Time. I was now a raging inferno of creative energy. I was determined to make my very own paper doll, answer the Black Cat’s question, post to my gallery and still manage to get some sleep. OK. I made my doll with my smiling 3 yr. old face and celebrated "Maximum Silliness" as Black Cat would say in the way of Playing and Dancing and Nail Polish and Life and Love and… well, see for yourself:

But I still wasn’t finished because I hadn’t yet realized what this all meant -- Spontaneous Collaboration. Again! It had to be written and blogged and identified as such for the sake of this contest or we all might just spontaneously combust!

Oh, one more thing…

Check out Paper Doll ABCs: Paper Doll Ideas, Inventions and Techniques for Artists by Marney K. Makridakis. It’s an e-book available in the Shoppes of Artella, very cool, and a wonderful resource to help spark your creative juices.

Creatively & Combustively Yours,
Lori a/k/a harqn2

Flora Stargazer, HeArt Healer!

harqn2 — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:23:00 GMT

Until recently, I never fully realized… I am a healer. At least that’s what my Autobiographical Assemblage Flora Stargazer told me and I’m truly amazed by the entire experience. Besides, Flora claims she “can see better with her eyes wide shut” and who can argue with that kind of vision! Before doing the writing part of the project, I knew I was an artist who uses art as a healing tool, but I'd never consciously separated the two roles of artist and healer. I had to go back through my personal spiritual prayer journal and sure enough, I found the messages there too! Life really is a series of rude awakenings, like Rip Van Winkle says. My friends just looked at me funny when I begged them for a little confirmation, like I’m a little whacked for my sudden shock at this new discovery. I really shouldn’t be surprised they say. It’s a “can’t see the forest for the trees” sort of thing maybe. Still what an honor! I’m so incredibly humbled. This is such an awesome workshop! Thanks again Marney for sharing it with the universe! I don’t quite know what to make of it… I’m overwhelmed and overjoyed!

Let me back up a little. Over the weekend I led the Autobiographical Assemblage workshop created by Artella’s founder, our very own Marney Makridakis, that was featured in a recent article of The Artella Daily Muse. Just in case you missed that article, an Autobiographical Assemblage is a figure that represents the intuitive self then is decorated with found objects, etc. and accompanied by a written piece. In addition to leading the workshop, I also was able to create my own Autobiographical Assemblage. Later in the week, in a glorious moment of Galactic Synchronicity, I was posting a photo of Flora Stargazer in my Gallery, while Ramona Davis aka Poetic Java, was posting one of her amazing poems in her blog here in the Artella Cafe where I stop for a fresh cup to start my morning -- highly recommended! -- and this particular poem seemed to flow so well with the spirit of my assemblage I just had to comment on it (twice!) and with her permission, I incorporated it into the end of my autobiography. (Thanks so much for collaborating with me Poetic Java! You write some amazing poetry!) Now, without further delay, I'd like to introduce Flora Stargazer, HeArt Healer immediately followed by her Autobiography. Hope you enjoy!

FLORA STARGAZER

By Lori Minick (with an end poem by Poetic Java, used by permission.)

i am FLORA STARGAZER,
HeArt Healer
because He said,
“Stand up,
I choose you…”
And standing i longed to fly
along the shimmering butterfly chemtrails
carrying prayful burdens to the Creator.
Instead from the misty heights of purple passion have i plummeted
through the blood red swamps of sorrow have i staggered
up out of the murky depths of despair have i climbed
until the Sun of Righteousness
rose with healing in his wings
and i went free leaping with joy.
When all the colors of creativity flow together
into a muddy pool of self-pity and stagnation
that’s when i step in
steel-toed boot kicking and butterfly spur fluttering,
with a tiny zap of my stargazer scepter
i reframe time and space into a place where hearts mend and stitch,
because i have learned that sometimes
pain is the medicine…
by sharing it, i heal others and am myself being healed.
Now i know art is a healing tool and i choose to use it every day
So won’t you join me for a pot of creativi-tea?
And i’ll share a place in my heart that cries when you cry
and a song in my heart that sings even if you can’t find your voice.
THEN WE SHALL DANCE AND SING WITH THE ANGELS
for we are the music makers and the world shakers.
With the courage of a lion-ess i will help you dream a new dream
i C H E R I S H an uncritical exuberance for life
i can see better with my eyes wide shut.
Although i secretly hide a small hope for my long awaited frog prince i do apologize in advance to him if he should get stepped upon for i’m much too busy to be looking out for him these days and may accidentally squash him with my boot so it's best he get my attention first in a creative way: here’s “hopping” for the best…alas, i’m not holding my breath.
And YES! i do make house calls.
I’ll bring the crayons and colored pencils and paint – let’s redecorate!
It’s OK to draw on the walls…
of our hearts!
Knock, Knock.
So won’t you join me for a cup of Poetic Java?
At the other side
of the galaxy, a star thirty-five times
the size of our own sun exploded......
and beneath it i stand
letting the particles shower me
with love, affection and power.
can you feel it? i ask
can you feel the power of the sun
washing over you,
calling you,
begging you to be free?

Out of the Blue: The Choice is Up to You!

harqn2 — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 08:48:00 GMT

Welcome, Creative Heroes! It’s day three of Dr. Eric Maisel’s virtual book tour through the Artella Café promoting his book, The Van Gogh Blues: The Creative Person’s Path Through Depression (VGB). What an amazing stroke of fate - or providence! (Depending on your “vocabulary of meaning” – please read the book...) The very topic for the blog contest I won in order to have the honor of hosting this interview was about heroes while Dr. Maisel states that his book is all about the heroism required of creators who struggle with their inevitable bouts of existential depression! In VGB he writes about why he believes they are prone to this type of depression and describes a practical plan for managing it.

Harqn2: What strategies about making and maintaining meaning can we expect you to discuss in your book to assist creative people in averting debilitating depression?

EM: A main strategy is simply to become aware of the concept that meaning does not exist until you make it and that it does not stay afloat unless you actively maintain it. A corollary idea is that without a vocabulary of meaning, it is very hard to think about and talk about meaning issues, which is why I include such a vocabulary as an appendix to the book. When you have phrases like meaning investment, meaning crisis, meaning spark, meaning leak, and similar terms to employ internally, you have a new way of speaking to yourself that reminds you about your central obligations and helps you actually become a passionate meaning-maker.

Harqn2: Based on the premise that creative people inevitably will experience depression because they regularly experience doubts about the meaningfulness of their work, how might having a strong religious/spiritual faith both benefit and hinder the struggle to find and make meaning?

EM: This is a tricky question for me because I am both an atheist and an anti-religionist who believes that god-talk is a betrayal of our common humanity. As soon as you inject that a god has told you something, you have trumped any rational discussion of a subject. Naturally, a believer may find it easier to avoid feelings of meaninglessness because he can take comfort in his beliefs and in this sense he may have an easier time maintaining meaning. To my mind, to make meaning is to accept that you are the sole arbiter of what is going to count as righteous and meaningful in your life.

Harqn2: In the chapter Sounding Silence you discuss Negative Self-Talk and it's role in meaning crises, do you think as creatives we sabotage ourselves and our abilities?

EM: Yes, all the time. We are continually saying things to ourselves (though often just out of earshot) like “It’s too late for me” or “There’s too much competition” or “I don’t really have what it takes.” These negative thoughts need to be heard and disputed, and then more affirmative thoughts need to be substituted. More insidiously, as we are tricky creatures and because we don’t want to know to what extent we are disappointing ourselves by not creating, we couch our negativity in language that sounds true but that really isn’t. Today, the two most common phrases of this sort are “I’m too busy” and “I’m too tired.” We say these things because we know that they have enough grains of truth in them that we can believe them without examining them too closely. If we want to change this dynamic, we need to begin to say things to ourselves like “I’m very busy, but not too busy to spend twenty minutes on my novel.” In this way we honor the truth of our situation while at the same time not avoiding our existential responsibilities.

Harqn2: Depression has many negative connotations. How might depression help bring to light issues that other more positive states of being may not?

EM: It isn’t so much that depression brings to light these other states. It is rather that, at least at this point in the evolution of our species, to don the mantle of personal meaning maker, which is the righteous and proper thing to do, means that you look life squarely in the eye and do what it takes to manifest your potential and act as the hero of your own story—and by accepting all this you open the door for depression, since it can be depressing to see the truth about reality and depressing to struggle so hard to bring forth beauty and good works. The depression isn’t any kind of blessing or positive state, but it may be an inevitable by-product of our decision to live honorably.

Harqn2: Could you explain more about the importance of a creator's task in being able to find a certain freedom of attitude when reckoning with the facts of existence, while still maintaining authenticity?

EM: Nice to get a simple question now and then! :-) I often think of this particular task as dream-upholding while reality-testing. If you do not actively keep your biggest dreams afloat, they are likely to get swamped and submerged by everyday reality. At the same time, if you do not reckon with the facts of existence—for instance, what your particular marketplace wants or what sales tactics actually work (rather than those that the books say work)—you are likely to relegate your dreams to fantasy-land. The freedom in attitude resides in not attaching to outcomes: you hold your dream, you do the work, you reality-test well, and you leave the rest up to the gods of whimsy. Be fiercely ambitious while not attaching to outcomes: that is the secret!

Harqn2: Thanks for stopping by my blog today Dr. Maisel. Oh, look! Here comes Spot, my editor. She’s brought her copy of the Van Gogh Blues. I think she wants an autograph… you don’t mind do you, Dr. Maisel? Thanks again! Be sure to check back tomorrow when Dr. Eric Maisel visits Be-Bop Bo’s blog on day four of his virtual book tour in the Artella Café.

For more information about Dr. Eric Maisel's work see his website: http://www.ericmaisel.com/

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just for fun – Spot wanted to share a few of her favorite quotes from the book

“Your two eyes are not enough—you must cultivate a third eye with which you monitor the ebb and flow of meaning in your life.” –Dr. Eric Maisel Ph.D.

“Maybe you can’t deliver a miracle—but maybe you can. Stand up, even if your legs are wobbly, and deliver.” --Dr. Eric Maisel Ph.D.

“You are free to choose your meanings since meaning is entirely up for grabs. But you are also obliged to choose your meanings, as meaning means nothing until you tell the universe where you stand.” --Dr. Eric Maisel Ph.D.

“Point of View” by Lori Minick, Collage on Paper

Journey Toward Feeling

harqn2 — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 23:09:00 GMT

I've always loved art and color, probably since the day my mother first put a crayon in my hand. You see, I see the world in a rainbow sort of way. I took all the art I could in school and I worked in commercial art and freelanced some graphic design on the side. However, I quickly closed down all my creative expression out of self-preservation, due to a controlling and increasingly abusive husband. Maybe it was a stubborn streak, or a will to survive, or pure desparation, but I vowed to myself that I would not let him have this last part of me. He even sensed I was holding something back from him and demanded I surrender it to him. It was a terrifying time in my life and if not for this last creative stand and my faith in God, I doubt I would be here now.

Over the course of my marriage, I endured all sorts of emotional and physical abuse from my husband, while unable to name or describe it. My husband began to isolate me from family and friends and soon I felt trapped and alone in a world of pain and silent shame. I retreated to a far away place inside my head where I continued to make my art... imaginary paintings on canvases of the mind. It was the only safe place I could create. In the meantime, my hopes, dreams and self-respect were in danger as well. I learned to shut up and shut down. I felt nothing anymore... I was numb.

After leaving my husband, my domestic violence counselor referred me to a women's empowerment group at a local domestic violence agency which used the A Window Between Worlds program. AWBW is an art organization which uses art as a healing tool in the lives of battered women and children. At first I found that I was unable to verbalize my experiences. Once I started processing my feelings through my art, then words came much easier. That was almost ten years ago. Since then I've been using art to create my way back, to reconnect with myself and with the world around me.

Creative expression has been an amazingly powerful source of strength and freedom. It has helped me to recover a sense of safety, relaxation, possibility, and identity. When I learned AWBW was looking for a volunteer I jumped at the chance to become involved. I became a trained womens and childrens art leader and began to write and facilitate art workshops for women and children. It has been extremely rewarding to see first hand the powerful process of healing that art can provide and an honor to build a safe, creative environment in which such wonderful experiences may unfold.

Every day, I continue to use my own creativity to embrace my emotions -- all of them. They are all a part of my journey, the journey toward feeling.

"Journey" by Lori Minick, 24x18 Acrylic on Canvas

THE PRIME DIRECTIVE or IT'S A BUGS LIFE

harqn2 — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 17:17:00 GMT

My first hero was Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek, the prime time TV show and zealous defender of The Prime Directive: “…cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Star Fleet personnel may interfere with the healthy development of alien life and culture… including superior knowledge, strength, technology…” As a young child watching the show, I intuitively knew there was room for creative interpretation and application and, oh, did Jim ever take creative license. I loved him dearly for that. And even though he couldn’t keep a girlfriend for more than a week, The Captain had something that I admired – he had a marvelous EQ (Emotional Intelligence) as well as IQ. He could get his way, but work well together with people. He always seemed to find a creative way to have his cake and eat it too. And what’s so wrong with that? Aren’t there times when the end justifies the means? After all, might it be simply a matter of perspective?

Have you ever asked yourself what YOUR Prime Directive is? And if we should ever be put to the test in a crucial life and death situation – that nanosecond of decision, will we act according to our Prime Directive? And having acted (provided we survive the experience) will we understand it? If I prove to be a coward, do I get another chance? What if I become a hero? Was that my purpose for being here?

I wanted to tell you about my experience with Ephward the mayfly and how my hero affected this experience. I met Ephward while on a retreat with some of my girlfriends at the wonderful St. Andrew’s Abbey in Valyermo, CA. I was searching for some silence in the high desert of Southern California. In the late afternoon I sat myself down on a comfy rock nestled next to some trees and foliage at the far end of the duck pond. As soon as I was reasonably sure this would be a good “alone” time and place for quiet reflection, a woodpecker flew up to a nearby tree and started right up with his pecking. Nice. I looked at him. He stopped once to look at me, then started right in again. OK, he was part of the natural setting, so I tried to tune him out. Then a bright streak of glimmering chartreuse captured my attention. I watched this lace-winged creature descend gracefully past my face and land right smack in a spider web attached to a few leaves and twigs on the ground inches from my feet. I remember my first thought was that this silly mayfly had seemed to be descending almost deliberately toward his doom! But what happened next happened so fast that it seemed to take place in slow motion.

I saw the spider emerge from under one of the nearby leaves and start swiftly toward its hapless victim. Simultaneously I watched myself reach for a twig, scoop up the web, mayfly and all. Next I used the twig to gently untangle Ephward from his sticky bonds. The freed insect lay motionless in the palm of my hand for a second. Then it took off, hovering in front of my face briefly (in a gesture of gratitude?) for what seemed like a frozen moment in time before ascending into the trees. Perhaps he was on his way home to tell his family of his harrowing escape. I nearly laughed aloud as I imagined Ephward collapsing in a breathless heap in his favorite easy chair, retelling his tale to his wife and kids…

I sat basking in the glow of my heroic efforts when, hold the phone, I got the after-sensation of a gap in the rhythmic pecking of the woodpecker during the previous episode. But maybe it was just a trick of my own senses. Perhaps it had been one of those hyper-speed illusions? I looked over at the woodpecker questioningly, but he was no help. I looked up to Ephward in time to catch a last clumsy shimmer of chartreuse. Looking down toward the spider I found only the scattered leaves and twigs used previously to anchor her carefully worked trap and I began to feel the first stabs of guilt. Suddenly I felt as if I had interfered where I had no right. Had I just violated the Prime Directive? Images of the spider, weak from starvation, using her last breath to hurl her outrage at the universe for the injustice of being robbed of a hard-earned meal, assaulted me. The mayfly was doomed in a matter of time anyway -- living the few days it took to mate and then die. Would the spider have the strength to rebuild and wait? I agonized over that one… at least until I heard the monks sounding the bell for dinner.

But you know what? I concluded that in the end I did act according to my own Prime Directive. Thanks to my hero, Capt. James T. Kirk, I had started thinking long ago. Because of all that thinking, I was able to act that day, accordingly. What is my Prime Directive? Life. Everything else comes in a close second at best. If you ask me what I mean when I say Life, I mean that same force that is found in Love. I believe that Love cannot be separated from Life any more than you can separate Time from Space. But that’s another story.

Sometimes there is room for confusion when one wants to argue over the next step: APPLICATION of the Prime Directive. That’s when we all become aware of the blessed goodness or woeful wickedness of the multitude of possible scenarios contained in the word “IF”.

BOTTOM LINE: I thank God for that split-second decision-making opportunity, where my Prime Directive was applied without compromise and with childlike simplicity. But then again, who knows? Perhaps the spider is not the only one who would disagree with me.

I’d like to leave you with a few Quotable Quotes:

The best brief biography I’ve ever heard was for a mayfly: “Born. Eat. Shag. Die.” ---Anonymous
(Note from the Editor: Actually adult mayflies do not feed.)

“There’s nothing like summing up the last year of your life to make you re-examine your priorities, or refocus on what has affected you. Where would you begin?” ---Meg Pickard, The Mayfly Project

“Life is a series of rude awakenings.” ---Rip Van Winkle

“Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.” --- Richard Bach

“To morrow, and to morrow, and to morrow,
Creeps in the petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way of dusty death.
Out, out brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
---William Shakespeare

Here are a favorite few from the Captain himself

“Without freedom of choice there is no creativity. The body dies.” ---Kirk in 'The Return Of The Archons'
“One of the advantages of being a Captain is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it.”  ---Kirk in 'Dagger of the Mind'
“Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed...but a woman is always a woman.”  ---Kirk in 'Conscience of the King'
“Of all things, a 'god' needs compassion.”   ---Kirk in 'Where No Man Has Gone Before'

“What IF Life’s Prime Directive is just to be happy all the miserable days of our short lives, by remembering our Creator and keeping his commandments, which the Messiah reminds us, are summed up in this one Law: Love one another!” ---Doc L. Smack Grotchman, my alter ego

A mayfly
    Taps the screen-
         Warm beets slip their skins
---Peggy Lyles

Sic transit Gloria mundi. (So passes away the glory of this world.)

Live long and prosper.
With much love,
Lori

Pawsitively Delicious!

harqn2 — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 21:40:00 GMT

My dog Jozie is absolutely nuts about peanut butter. I'm so nuts about Jozie that in a moment of weakness over the holiday shopping craze I shelled out $4 for 3 peanut butter dog cookies in little holiday cookie cutter shapes drizzled with frosting all the while thinking, "I could make these!" Indeed. I resolved to do just that. I remembered seeing a recipe on Animal Planet and after finding the recipe online again, I collected the 4 simple ingredients and baked up a batch. Jozie stood patiently waiting. I could tell she wanted to lick the bowl, but I asked if instead she'd give me a brief comment for my blog. Since I was baking an entire batch of cookies just for her she acquiesced. Wow! She wants me to share this with everybody: "They're pawsitively delicious!" There you have it. Or rather, here below is the recipe, plus 2 more I thought you would also enjoy, since Jozie goes bananas over well, er, bananas. She also comes running whenever she hears the ice dispenser. I think it's because she likes to chase a piece of ice around the floor before she finally licks it and chomps it down. I'll fix her... (See recipe No. 3.)

Happy New Year from Jozie and Lori!!!

3 Wonderful Dog Treat Recipes
The first 2 are courtesy Three Dog Bakery (check out their cool website—lots of cool treats for dogs)

PEANUT BUTTER DOG BISCUITS

2 cups whole-wheat flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 cup natural peanut butter
1 cup skim milk

Cooking Directions: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a bowl, combine flour and baking powder. In another bowl, mix peanut butter and milk. Add wet mixture to dry, and mix well. Turn out dough on a lightly floured surface and knead. Roll out to 1/4-inch thick and cut out shapes. Place on a greased baking sheet and bake 20 minutes or until lightly brown. Cool on a rack then store in an airtight container.Makes 30 large bones (I used tiny cookie cutters and so needed to reduce baking time to 18 minutes!)

BANANA BISCOTTI

5 cups White Flour
1/4 cup Peanuts, chopped
1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda
1 medium Egg
1/4 cup Vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups pureed Banana
2 teaspoons Vanilla
Water

Preheat oven to 325F/160C. Mix dry, then wet ingredients until lumpy. Add water, one teaspoon at a time as needed. Knead by handon table until mixed thoroughly. Form into logs approximately 2" - 2 1/2" high. Flatten so that log is 6" - 7" wide by 1" high. Place onnon-stick baking sheets. Bake approximately 30 - 40 minutes. Remove and cool for 10 minutes. Slice into 1/2" - 3/4" slices. Place onbaking sheets and bake for about 20 minutes or until golden brown. Cool.

FROZEN RICE MILK TREATS
(courtesy Plump Violet's Cookies)

2 cooked chicken thighs (bones removed, gristle okay)
1 cup cooked rice
2 cooked carrots
1/2 cup cooked green veggie (we like zucchini)
Chicken broth to get consistency you want (about 1/2 cup)

You can cook everything together and use the cooking broth. Throw all the solids in the blender with about 1/2 cup of chicken broth andblend. Add more broth if necessary to blend smoothly. Blend on high for 30 seconds and distribute in glass custard cups or ice cube trays. If you have made this thick enough (takes a strong blender) you can put a popsicle stick in. Freeze!

Barking Up The Right Tree!

harqn2 — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 19:22:00 GMT

Hark! Hark! If you happen to be in Los Angeles please come see the Story Tree Exhibit at City Hall's Bridge Gallery through December 14th! This powerful and well-loved exhibit features 21 paintings by survivors of domestic violence who through the metaphor of roots, branches, limbs and leaves, tell their stories of where they came from, how they escaped, and how they are growing toward a violence free future. Both women and children who experience violence are often encouraged to stay silent about their experiences, both in their own families and in the larger community. While the public perception of domestic violence “victims” often involves misconceptions about weakness or passivity, the Story Trees tell real stories of strength, resilience, and hope, while at the same time providing a safe way for survivors of violence to bring their stories out into the open. And if you aren’t in the L.A. area, never fear… by clicking here you can view the online exhibit!

“By welcoming allies, friends and family members, we hope to affirm and support the role that each person can play in ending violence.” --AWBW Story Trees Project

Above is my 2006 Story Tree. It's 48 1/2" x 36 1/2". What can only best be appreciated in person is the way the light plays off the hidden words gessoed into the bark in Latin "Miserere mei, Deus..." (hint: Psalm 51) and a copy of my restraining order in the middle of the trunk. Some people say they see a face in the left lower corner in the air. I did not put one there intentionally. The words that I wrote to go with my tree are as follows:

OAK OF MERCY
Somewhere in the purple gloaming
In the aftermath of a violet storm
Beside the metaphor of a white picket fence
Stands the Oak of Mercy.
Acorns, children of the future
Fall not far from the unanswered questions.
“Why, Mommy?
Why can’t you forgive Daddy…
Just one more time?
How can you believe my Daddy did those things
To my sister?
Why isn’t my Daddy in jail?
Why, Mommy?”
His love letters now scars.
Hugs and kisses carved permanently over orders of restraint.
Restrained was my story.
Suppressed, questioned, even mocked was the truth.
“How does it feel?

P.S. I love you.”

The Story Trees Project was originally developed in 2005 by Los Angeles artists Cathy Salser and myself (A Window Between Worlds Executive Director and SAC Co-Coordinator respectively) during a series of hands-on art workshops which I facilitated using the image of a tree as a life symbol to describe the journey out of violence. In 2006 we further expanded this idea by including a Community Story Tree (yes, that is an online exhibit too!) in which 72 individuals from across the United States and beyond joined together to create this special tree embodying our community commitment against domestic violence.
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! Don't forget to hug a tree! Except if it's one of those flowering silk trees with the thorny spikes going up the trunks. I think they'd understand. But you can still speak kindly to them in soothing tones. Just don't chew toothpicks or snap pencils and waste paper in front of them...

"Hark, hark the dogs do bark ..."

harqn2 — Sun, 25 Nov 2007 22:02:00 GMT

I am starting my first Blog Post with a bit of Nursery Rhyme History... this old thing dates back to 13th Century England. I lifted this from www.rhymes.org.uk: Wandering minstrels or troubadours and beggars went from city to town singing their songs. Messages of dissent to the common people were often found in secret meanings to the words of their ballads. In this way the propaganda of the day was safely passed from one community to another. These secret messages could lead to plots and uprisings against the royalty, clergy and politicians of the day. Even further back in time, in Saxon England, professional storytellers, called 'scops', would also travel around the country telling stories for their living. During outbreaks of the Bubonic Plague strangers were looked upon with horror! Dogs barking alerted the townspeople to strangers in their area hence the words "Hark, hark the dogs do bark ..."

Not that I intend anything quite so ambitious, but one never knows. I'm not sure what my Blog will end up looking like, but we'll see as I get used to adding and adjusting things. I like to use art and words to tell my "story", so that's why I chose "Hark, Hark..." AND it's close to my ID harqn2. I will try to keep it short to start with. Once upon a time... snore. Forgive me if I wax sarcastic at times. It helps me to hide the sensitive and shy parts of me you'd never know were there... oops, you weren't supposed to know that! Anyway, my favorite quote is one which my alter ego was heard mumbling one day:

"Please don't pathologize me, weird humor is the ally of sanity." Doc L. Smack Grotchman

My name is Lori and I'm an artist, advocate, intellectual and an ecumenical iconoclast of sorts, among other things equally unpronounceable and unfathomable I've been told. This is not intentional, it's just the way things turned out. It may be that it's because I live in Los Angeles, CA or it may be that it's just because I am what I am and that's all that I am and more. I'm quite the friendly, curious, sometimes intense and cerebral sort, but can also be quite cuddly and childlike too. I can make you laugh or cry, but hopefully not fall asleep. So I think I'll stop blathering on for now.