I've always loved art and color, probably since the day my mother first put a crayon in my hand. You see, I see the world in a rainbow sort of way. I took all the art I could in school and I worked in commercial art and freelanced some graphic design on the side. However, I quickly closed down all my creative expression out of self-preservation, due to a controlling and increasingly abusive husband. Maybe it was a stubborn streak, or a will to survive, or pure desparation, but I vowed to myself that I would not let him have this last part of me. He even sensed I was holding something back from him and demanded I surrender it to him. It was a terrifying time in my life and if not for this last creative stand and my faith in God, I doubt I would be here now.
Over the course of my marriage, I endured all sorts of emotional and physical abuse from my husband, while unable to name or describe it. My husband began to isolate me from family and friends and soon I felt trapped and alone in a world of pain and silent shame. I retreated to a far away place inside my head where I continued to make my art... imaginary paintings on canvases of the mind. It was the only safe place I could create. In the meantime, my hopes, dreams and self-respect were in danger as well. I learned to shut up and shut down. I felt nothing anymore... I was numb.
After leaving my husband, my domestic violence counselor referred me to a women's empowerment group at a local domestic violence agency which used the A Window Between Worlds program. AWBW is an art organization which uses art as a healing tool in the lives of battered women and children. At first I found that I was unable to verbalize my experiences. Once I started processing my feelings through my art, then words came much easier. That was almost ten years ago. Since then I've been using art to create my way back, to reconnect with myself and with the world around me.
Creative expression has been an amazingly powerful source of strength and freedom. It has helped me to recover a sense of safety, relaxation, possibility, and identity. When I learned AWBW was looking for a volunteer I jumped at the chance to become involved. I became a trained womens and childrens art leader and began to write and facilitate art workshops for women and children. It has been extremely rewarding to see first hand the powerful process of healing that art can provide and an honor to build a safe, creative environment in which such wonderful experiences may unfold.
Every day, I continue to use my own creativity to embrace my emotions -- all of them. They are all a part of my journey, the journey toward feeling.
"Journey" by Lori Minick, 24x18 Acrylic on Canvas
My first hero was Captain James T. Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek, the prime time TV show and zealous defender of The Prime Directive: “…cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Star Fleet personnel may interfere with the healthy development of alien life and culture… including superior knowledge, strength, technology…” As a young child watching the show, I intuitively knew there was room for creative interpretation and application and, oh, did Jim ever take creative license. I loved him dearly for that. And even though he couldn’t keep a girlfriend for more than a week, The Captain had something that I admired – he had a marvelous EQ (Emotional Intelligence) as well as IQ. He could get his way, but work well together with people. He always seemed to find a creative way to have his cake and eat it too. And what’s so wrong with that? Aren’t there times when the end justifies the means? After all, might it be simply a matter of perspective? Have you ever asked yourself what YOUR Prime Directive is? And if we should ever be put to the test in a crucial life and death situation – that nanosecond of decision, will we act according to our Prime Directive? And having acted (provided we survive the experience) will we understand it? If I prove to be a coward, do I get another chance? What if I become a hero? Was that my purpose for being here?I wanted to tell you about my experience with Ephward the mayfly and how my hero affected this experience. I met Ephward while on a retreat with some of my girlfriends at the wonderful St. Andrew’s Abbey in Valyermo, CA. I was searching for some silence in the high desert of Southern California. In the late afternoon I sat myself down on a comfy rock nestled next to some trees and foliage at the far end of the duck pond. As soon as I was reasonably sure this would be a good “alone” time and place for quiet reflection, a woodpecker flew up to a nearby tree and started right up with his pecking. Nice. I looked at him. He stopped once to look at me, then started right in again. OK, he was part of the natural setting, so I tried to tune him out. Then a bright streak of glimmering chartreuse captured my attention. I watched this lace-winged creature descend gracefully past my face and land right smack in a spider web attached to a few leaves and twigs on the ground inches from my feet. I remember my first thought was that this silly mayfly had seemed to be descending almost deliberately toward his doom! But what happened next happened so fast that it seemed to take place in slow motion. I saw the spider emerge from under one of the nearby leaves and start swiftly toward its hapless victim. Simultaneously I watched myself reach for a twig, scoop up the web, mayfly and all. Next I used the twig to gently untangle Ephward from his sticky bonds. The freed insect lay motionless in the palm of my hand for a second. Then it took off, hovering in front of my face briefly (in a gesture of gratitude?) for what seemed like a frozen moment in time before ascending into the trees. Perhaps he was on his way home to tell his family of his harrowing escape. I nearly laughed aloud as I imagined Ephward collapsing in a breathless heap in his favorite easy chair, retelling his tale to his wife and kids… I sat basking in the glow of my heroic efforts when, hold the phone, I got the after-sensation of a gap in the rhythmic pecking of the woodpecker during the previous episode. But maybe it was just a trick of my own senses. Perhaps it had been one of those hyper-speed illusions? I looked over at the woodpecker questioningly, but he was no help. I looked up to Ephward in time to catch a last clumsy shimmer of chartreuse. Looking down toward the spider I found only the scattered leaves and twigs used previously to anchor her carefully worked trap and I began to feel the first stabs of guilt. Suddenly I felt as if I had interfered where I had no right. Had I just violated the Prime Directive? Images of the spider, weak from starvation, using her last breath to hurl her outrage at the universe for the injustice of being robbed of a hard-earned meal, assaulted me. The mayfly was doomed in a matter of time anyway -- living the few days it took to mate and then die. Would the spider have the strength to rebuild and wait? I agonized over that one… at least until I heard the monks sounding the bell for dinner. But you know what? I concluded that in the end I did act according to my own Prime Directive. Thanks to my hero, Capt. James T. Kirk, I had started thinking long ago. Because of all that thinking, I was able to act that day, accordingly. What is my Prime Directive? Life. Everything else comes in a close second at best. If you ask me what I mean when I say Life, I mean that same force that is found in Love. I believe that Love cannot be separated from Life any more than you can separate Time from Space. But that’s another story. Sometimes there is room for confusion when one wants to argue over the next step: APPLICATION of the Prime Directive. That’s when we all become aware of the blessed goodness or woeful wickedness of the multitude of possible scenarios contained in the word “IF”. BOTTOM LINE: I thank God for that split-second decision-making opportunity, where my Prime Directive was applied without compromise and with childlike simplicity. But then again, who knows? Perhaps the spider is not the only one who would disagree with me. I’d like to leave you with a few Quotable Quotes:The best brief biography I’ve ever heard was for a mayfly: “Born. Eat. Shag. Die.” ---Anonymous (Note from the Editor: Actually adult mayflies do not feed.)“There’s nothing like summing up the last year of your life to make you re-examine your priorities, or refocus on what has affected you. Where would you begin?” ---Meg Pickard, The Mayfly Project“Life is a series of rude awakenings.” ---Rip Van Winkle “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive, it isn’t.” --- Richard Bach “To morrow, and to morrow, and to morrow,
Creeps in the petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way of dusty death.
Out, out brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”
---William Shakespeare
Here are a favorite few from the Captain himself
“Without freedom of choice there is no creativity. The body dies.” ---Kirk in 'The Return Of The Archons'
“One of the advantages of being a Captain is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it.” ---Kirk in 'Dagger of the Mind'
“Worlds are conquered, galaxies destroyed...but a woman is always a woman.” ---Kirk in 'Conscience of the King'
“Of all things, a 'god' needs compassion.” ---Kirk in 'Where No Man Has Gone Before'
“What IF Life’s Prime Directive is just to be happy all the miserable days of our short lives, by remembering our Creator and keeping his commandments, which the Messiah reminds us, are summed up in this one Law: Love one another!” ---Doc L. Smack Grotchman, my alter ego A mayfly
Taps the screen-
Warm beets slip their skins
---Peggy Lyles Sic transit Gloria mundi. (So passes away the glory of this world.) Live long and prosper.With much love,Lori
My dog Jozie is absolutely nuts about peanut butter. I'm so nuts about Jozie that in a moment of weakness over the holiday shopping craze I shelled out $4 for 3 peanut butter dog cookies in little holiday cookie cutter shapes drizzled with frosting all the while thinking, "I could make these!" Indeed. I resolved to do just that. I remembered seeing a recipe on Animal Planet and after finding the recipe online again, I collected the 4 simple ingredients and baked up a batch. Jozie stood patiently waiting. I could tell she wanted to lick the bowl, but I asked if instead she'd give me a brief comment for my blog. Since I was baking an entire batch of cookies just for her she acquiesced. Wow! She wants me to share this with everybody: "They're pawsitively delicious!" There you have it. Or rather, here below is the recipe, plus 2 more I thought you would also enjoy, since Jozie goes bananas over well, er, bananas. She also comes running whenever she hears the ice dispenser. I think it's because she likes to chase a piece of ice around the floor before she finally licks it and chomps it down. I'll fix her... (See recipe No. 3.)
Happy New Year from Jozie and Lori!!!
3 Wonderful Dog Treat Recipes
The first 2 are courtesy Three Dog Bakery (check out their cool website—lots of cool treats for dogs) PEANUT BUTTER DOG BISCUITS 2 cups whole-wheat flour1 tablespoon baking powder1 cup natural peanut butter1 cup skim milkCooking Directions: Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a bowl, combine flour and baking powder. In another bowl, mix peanut butter and milk. Add wet mixture to dry, and mix well. Turn out dough on a lightly floured surface and knead. Roll out to 1/4-inch thick and cut out shapes. Place on a greased baking sheet and bake 20 minutes or until lightly brown. Cool on a rack then store in an airtight container.Makes 30 large bones (I used tiny cookie cutters and so needed to reduce baking time to 18 minutes!) BANANA BISCOTTI 5 cups White Flour1/4 cup Peanuts, chopped1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda1 medium Egg1/4 cup Vegetable oil1 1/2 cups pureed Banana2 teaspoons VanillaWaterPreheat oven to 325F/160C. Mix dry, then wet ingredients until lumpy. Add water, one teaspoon at a time as needed. Knead by handon table until mixed thoroughly. Form into logs approximately 2" - 2 1/2" high. Flatten so that log is 6" - 7" wide by 1" high. Place onnon-stick baking sheets. Bake approximately 30 - 40 minutes. Remove and cool for 10 minutes. Slice into 1/2" - 3/4" slices. Place onbaking sheets and bake for about 20 minutes or until golden brown. Cool.FROZEN RICE MILK TREATS
(courtesy Plump Violet's Cookies)2 cooked chicken thighs (bones removed, gristle okay)1 cup cooked rice2 cooked carrots1/2 cup cooked green veggie (we like zucchini)Chicken broth to get consistency you want (about 1/2 cup)You can cook everything together and use the cooking broth. Throw all the solids in the blender with about 1/2 cup of chicken broth andblend. Add more broth if necessary to blend smoothly. Blend on high for 30 seconds and distribute in glass custard cups or ice cube trays. If you have made this thick enough (takes a strong blender) you can put a popsicle stick in. Freeze!