Reruns
So I've noticed that Wozzievision is starting to show some reruns and I've decided to nip that in the bud ASAP. Old patterns, old habits, the ones that didn't suit me very well, are beginning to make their way into my life once again (sneaky little things!). Over the last two weeks I've been giving these old patterns way too much face time and that is going to come to a close and is something I'm going to have to make a very consious effort to release. I'm staring these old ways of thinking and behaving straight in the eyes for the first time in my life. These old ways didn't serve me well before and they certainly are not helping me move forward. It's scary to face this; to uncover and understand things about myself that aren't particularly pretty. But in facing these issues, this inner mess, I am beginning to feel stronger than I have felt in years. I used to have a strength that could move anything. Nothing used to stand in my way. Something happened to that strength and I thought it was gone but now I see that it's not gone, it's just buried somewhere very deep and I'm slowly digging my way to it. It's there, I can feel it wanting to surface. It's buried by layers of apathy, acting the victim, manipulation, dishonesty and fear. That's a great deal of residue to plow through! And here I am understanding that in order to move forward, I have to. I am not weak and never have been, I've just been buried and I'm the one who has had the shovel in my hand this entire time throwing more dirt on myself.
Now, I do realize the occasional rerun is still going to creep in rotation now and again, but that is just part of me growing.
Now back to the new, but regularly scheduled, Wozzievision.