The Bubble Gum Inspiration

A writer's life: chewing on words, adventures, and olives at noon on Tuesday

A New Notebook

I don't spend too much on notebooks anymore, although, I still have a slight addiction to fancy journals with hard covers (can you say The Moleskin?) and slick designs and admittedly possess more than my share of them right now. My notebook of choice most days are the very simple, very inexpensive black and white (in color if I'm lucky!) composition notebooks that run about 99 cents in most stores. For some reason I write better in these than any notebook I've tried and more words seem to spill out onto the page. For 99 cents there just doesn't seem to be much pressure to pen something incredibly prolific and genius; I just write.

Today is one of those days I look forward to as a writer. Today I start a fresh new composition notebook. The blank pages seem to hold so much mystery, so much promise. One by one, day by day, each page begins to take on a new identity with a story to tell and way more about me than one would ever care to know. But this notebook holds a little more weight than those that have gone before her. This is almost like the first one of her kind that I was introduced to in college. In a sense, she is another first in a new phase in my life. Is this Chapter Two? Volume Two? I'm seeing it more like Series Two; it can run for years, the characters have changed but there are elements of the last main character sprinkled throughout just with more substance. I'm the last main character and the new one all at once. I can be anyone I want on Wozzievision - live, in color, and in HD.

I did something I never thought I'd do before I moved out here to Oregon. I sat with the last 20-25 notebooks that I've collected and filled since first said composition notebook my junior year in college. I thumbed through them, smiled at where I'd been, cried at much of what I experienced, and then smiled and cried at once as I saw how far I'd come. Then, without thinking about the act I was committing too much, I threw them all away. I realized that was a time in my life that I learned, grew, and loved but that a new time is ahead of me and I don't care to constantly look back and question what I could have done differently. All the memories (some bad, but most incredibly wonderful) are in my heart anyway; it's time for new ones to be created.

 Here's to a new day, a new notebook, and what I'm certain is going to be a long running series on Wozzievision.
 

Published Wednesday, February 27, 2008 5:19 AM by Wozzie

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# re: A New Notebook@ Wednesday, February 27, 2008 2:31 PM

Hey baby :)  I know that it was probably hard to get rid of  all of the notebooks at first because of all of the memories they contained  but, like you said you have all the memories in your heart and you don't need to keep reading through the notebooks to relive things and think "what could I have done differently" "or why am I still not at that point when things were  really great" or " I am glad I am not at that low point in life anymore".  It is good to move on and just let things be what they are and memories are exactly what they are.  By writing the memories down in the first place you burnt them  into your head and heart even more so than if you had just lived the events and   hadn't put them into a notebook. You will always have them in your heart and head.  Wozzievision sounds awesome and I hope to be a character for a vair vair vair VAIR long time :).  Love you my CTLH.

by Rahzh

# re: A New Notebook@ Wednesday, February 27, 2008 7:51 PM

That's what it's all about, Wozzie -- 'just write'.  Letting go of the past, embracing the new --takes time but the journey in between can be glorious, if you let it in.  Enjoy every step, Wozzie, and thanks for sharing.

- chameleon

# re: A New Notebook@ Sunday, March 02, 2008 7:44 AM

I, too, threw my stash of old journals away.  I know what they said, what they meant, and what they mean now.  I felt a huge relief when they were gone.  I keep my art journals - these have a much different tone, but the overflow from my life -  I didn't need to save.  And it does seem as if it's a new start with every journal.  Forward, go!

# re: A New Notebook@ Thursday, March 06, 2008 3:57 PM

Wow, Wozzie - I am in awe of your courage in letting all those journals go.  I don't know if I could, and yet I completely see the point of making your life be about now, rather than about then.  I routinely improvise never-to-be-repeated music and actually feel excited by the one-time-only feeling of that, but I'm a bit of a chicken when it comes to my volumes and volumes of journals.  I salute your courage, but more importantly, your fresh start in a new notebook!

(PS:  A new pen is very welcome, too.  I just got a swanky set of new markers made by Staedtler that make me feel rich every time I look at 'em).

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